Deja’ Redux!


Since the pending legislation in Congress will pretty much guarantee a better life regardless of one’s legal status, I have a few requirements that should take effect along with the new amnesty law. When being in the U.S and law-breaking is no longer enforceable there are a few things to be addressed. I want the government to guarantee me a job. I don’t care if it pays too little; it’s not a problem for me. When I am laid off I want to collect unemployment, and collect other social service benefits. In between visits to those offices I want to stand on street corners and panhandle. It’ll keep me busy and I may look pathetic enough for folks to give me more free money.

I want to be able to rent a two bedroom home, and house twenty of my closest friends and family members in it. Of course paying the rent will not be my top priority, so landlords should chill out if it takes six months or more for them to receive the first months rent check. There are after all twenty of us in the house and only two bathrooms. Don’t make us sue you for not providing sufficient living conditions!

I want to be able to drive without being required to obtain a driver’s license, and auto insurance. On top of that why would I even care about health insurance? I’ll be able to pay a fine for living here and not have to pay taxes because after all I don’t have any documentation that I even exist. It’s a small price to pay; much smaller than what the taxman or bail bondsmen charge. It’s a bargain that makes America great. I kind of like it that way!

Don’t try to locate me or find my whereabouts. That’s not the government’s job. Government is responsible for feeding me, clothing me, employing me, keeping me healthy and paying for my descendants to survive after I’m gone. Some years down the line my people will also want repairations for the way you've treated us so shabbily now! It almost sounds like characteristics from a form of government other than a Democratic Republic doesn’t it?

Don’t worry about my criminal record because there are just as many patrol agents who have committed crimes as bad as me anyway. Since the term illegal is now invalid we might as well just add it to the seven words you can’t say on television, or perhaps lump it in along with phrases you can’t say because of political expediency, for instance “nappy headed ho” comes to mind.

When I am ill I’ll make sure I end up at a local hospital. Never mind about paying those bills because I know that the country will do it for me. Clogging up medical services is no mind to me. Ya see what is most important in this whole scenario is me. It doesn’t matter that there may be others in the same or worse shape as me; as long as illegality no longer exists it simply will lead to further action that confirms my importance among the rest.

When I retire I’ll collect social security like the rest of us even though I haven’t put in nearly enough to the fund or the economy to make a difference. I am thankful for a government that won’t prosecute companies for hiring me. “One hand washing the other”, I think they call that in this country. You see it won’t matter so much that money I collect is from a lower paying job because I will have little of the cost of living associated with living in this country. You pay the benefits; I work a little and live much better than doing so in my “legal" country of origin.

One more thing; I don’t want the government to bother me. I’m a free man even though I’m here illegally, so make sure you avoid being labeled a racist or bigot by acting politically correct and not insulting anyone’s sensibilities; no matter how trivial. Leave me and my kind alone.

When I’m done and allowed to stay here despite my criminal path of arrival, we can do it all over again in twenty years or so. That way my grandchildren can be here illegally and reap the financial windfall too. Is America great or what?”

Sticks and Stones


The greatest threat to America is not terrorism, not foreign aggression, nor even exterior political subversion. For those areas, the country once under attack will unite like a mother bear protecting her cubs. The greatest threat, as Nikita Khrushchev pointed out in the 1960’s, is our vulnerability from within.

Today’s political correctness is threatening the fabric of the culture in the name of “sensitivity” toward every group and anyone who is offended by words that makes them victims. The sentimentality in their grievances complains of persecution in commentary which is often designed as humor. Much of the disintegration of lightheartedness has its underpinnings in the black community which refuses to advance beyond a stranglehold grip on the image of itself wronged by this country’s forced slavery of the past. There are whole cottage industries formed by famed black leaders whose livelihoods are dependent upon perpetrating the racism myth, instead of leading the advancement. Being a watchdog is one thing, but many leaders’ actual posture contributes to further demoralize a people who have already been set free; several times.

Slavery was abolished under President Lincoln nearly 150 years ago. A civil war was fought over the issue and thousands of people, most of them white, gave their lives to free blacks from bondage.

President Johnson over 40 years ago assured equal rights through a civil rights law which again guarantees equality. However, all this time later black leaders continue to permeate the idea that Dr. Martin Luther King’s dream lies unfulfilled. Much of society believes that blacks are as free as anyone else, yet within their own community people of color are constantly bombarded with prejudices that perpetuate the notion that they have not yet overcome!

The sensitivity issue in all sections of our diverse society rises from a lack of a sense of humor. The ability to laugh at oneself and make light of ones plight no matter how serious the issue is not only a long held coping mechanism, but it has proven to be vital to the vibrancy and health of the self, the community and the culture at large. In the past two decades many have lost their way and for many their very sense of humor.

When it matters to me or my race or my gender what someone says about us, especially in a joke format, then the world has tipped too much to one sensitive side. Humor eases the soul, and people who attempt to make constituents laugh at the sake of others do serve a function, despite what the insulted would have you believe. Still, those individuals devoid of a base sense of humor would have you think that every Polish joke is a slap against a great nation, every joke with a black as the punch line is a slur against a great race, and that any standard that they are insulted by should be offensive to all.

These folks are still in the minority of thought, but the country has kowtowed to their growing whines for the past 20 years, and it is time for those who find laughter in all situations to stand up and culturally body-slam their outrageous blanket victimization propaganda. It’s time to tell them to learn to laugh or shut up. The minority wagging its tongue loudly enough to control the majority is dangerous to institutional cultural norms, even in a compassionate country. Jokes, insults, stereotypes and concepts begin with words. At that, they are merely words until those without far reaching humor in their souls find in them insult fear and loathing. Its time to ease-up and realize that no one can be insulted if they are secure in their own skin. This group of cultural tyrants no longer finds truth in the youthful adage “sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me.” It is convenient to subvert such simple wisdom when agendas are cloaked beneath every sour action by those seeking the ultimate power at the center of their discontent. They desire to control other people with whom they disagree so that there is only one opinion in lock-step with their own.

People of humor speak the truth and don’t fear the name calling: those are just words. A thick skinned soul shrugs those words off with a laugh and focuses on finding the positive around them even within what some consider distasteful humor. They will even use controversial words to describe that forward thinking motion. It is not insulting. Complete freedom of speech is what elevates; as countless patriots have spilled a riover of blood for the right few other societies even respect. Those martyrs perish leaving us the right to even have opinions openly spoken without serious repercussion. It is what keeps Democracy head and shoulders above every other political and cultural system mankind has ever devised. Humor as an expression of that free exchange of ideas is uplifting to the majority, and they are laughing.